“Are you okay?” she asks, with the caring concerned tone in her voice after hearing the burden that was on my heart so strongly poured out to her. “I am okay.” I replied. “But that’s the problem! Why do I have the right to be okay… while the world is going to hell? Why do I have the right to be so close to the Answer but be so lazy and not pay the price it takes to die so the Answer can be known through me? How do I have such a privilege of eating my great food when I should be dying in prayer for the millions that are going to die lost by the end of this year?!! Why do I have the right to be okay?! They’re going to hell… and I can sit comfortably in front of a screen and waste His time watching trash that He has no part of! Why? I write, speak, sing, shout… everything but die! I am merely religious… while people are begging for a hope that they can just dare to believe will not fail them! Christ is the Answer to the world… and I play Church! How do I know this? Because I personally lead maybe 2 souls to Christ a year! I know this because I still walk by sinners, unbroken and unburdened. They are going to hell!! Why can’t I see that!! It doesn’t matter how many instruments I play anymore! It doesn’t matter how many songs I sing! It doesn’t matter what my plans are!! They are going to hell and I am not His Life! I am still alive to my wants! I still cling to my dreams! I still waste time with my foolishness of fleshly pleasures! That is not His Life!! This world owes me nothing… but I owe this world Christ! Life is more than just talking about God! Life is more than just praise and worship to God 3 times a week! Life is being dead to all my ways, and simply Him living through me as He is! He mends the broken hearted! He feeds the hungry! He clothes the necked! He heals the sick! He raises the dead! He cast’s out devils! HE SAVES SINNERS!!!! Why do I have the right to live… when He calls me to die so He may live as all that and more through me?! Why do I have the right to be okay? I AM SELFISH AND SINFUL! I AM CHILDISH AND PLAYING THE PART OF A CHRISTIAN!! I LAUGH AND HAVE FUN WHILE THEY RUN THE ROAD TO HELL!!! I DON’T HAVE THAT RIGHT! They’re dying lost… why do I have the right to live?”
Beloved, are you living… or is His Life being manifested through you just as He is? If there is only one lost soul in the world, and you are still living while that soul is going to hell… why do you have the right to live this Christian life your way while they die and go to hell? Just give me one good answer. YOU MUST DIE…. AND BE LIFE!
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