Why Do You Cry

Over the past few days I have been writing to you about this Christian fight of faith. Today I just felt led to break from the topic of the battle, and to talk to some soldier of the cross that has failed in the fight.

Beloved, He loves you. He isn’t angry at you for failing. There is an area in your life that is totally contrary to His. You know it is there, and you try to rid yourself of it but fall time after time. What you are feeling is mostly a lot of self chastening, not God convicting. God already convicted you by letting you know it was displeasing to Him, He will deal with you on those grounds, but you must let Him do so, not you doing it yourself. Dear soul, let me ask you this question, when you sin and fall back into the area of Godlessness that He has already pointed out He will not dwell in, when you fall… why do you cry? Do you cry because you condemn yourself for trotting back to the Godless place of your flesh? Why do you cry? What is the true source of reason for those tears you shed. Is it because you feel you will not ever be the same again? Is it that you feel He is angry at you? Because you know you did something you shouldn’t have? Why do you cry, beloved? I write this in humility and with a learning heart, don’t cry over these things. Don’t just cry over why you sinned, or how you sinned, or what your sin will do, or maybe has done to your life. Child of God, cry because you chose your plan over the led plan of the Father. He has laid a path before you, and if you are truly walking that path you will go through times of temptation. It is His will. Why? To see if you love Him as much as you profess. In a sort, be thankful that He has allowed you to fall, for it is out of your failing that it has been brought to your notice that you don’t trust, or love Him as you thought. Let your tears be those prevailing tears of repentance that weep while humbly saying, “Father, I have sinned against your all knowing plan. I weep not that my enemy has triumphed over me in this area, nor because I hurt those loved ones around me, and not even because I failed in an area you told me about, but simply because I ate of the fruit of self-understanding and disobeyed your desire with my faithlessness. I only weep because I am not in love with you enough to have faith in the full atonement you have made available for me through the blood of the Lamb; Jesus Christ, Your Son. I cry not because I was caught, and not because of my own self continence, but simply because I hurt your heart. This is why I cry, and this is why I decide to repent and turn away from my sin. I no longer want to do things my way, but I want to run to you in the midst of the heaviest temptation, pleading the blood in full assurance of faith… trusting in your will to be worked through my faithful choice to follow you, whether that be live or die. Lord this is why I cry and ask your forgiveness.”

Beloved, you can cry over every other reason in the world, but until you weep for the correct reason you will not gain ground over your sin. Cry for choosing your life over His, then will to do His will and go on with Him… live or die be His.